My pigeon theory
In my garden there is a bird tray, or what ever it’s called, the kind of thing you put seeds and bread crumbs on for the birds. After I moved in here I started putting food out there, thinking how nice it would be to watch the little cute birds when they would come to eat.
The first days I saw a couple of Black Birds, and even a few smaller birds that I don’t know the English names of. Then suddenly to my surprise it seemed to be getting rather quiet around my bird tray. The strange thing was though, that I could look out there and see no birds, come back half an hour later and still see no birds by the tray would be completely empty. For a while I considered if I might have stealth birds in my garden.
Then one day I caught him in action, the BIG FAT pigeon. He wobbled on to the bird tray, so fat he could hardly fit onto it, and he did not leave till he had eaten every last crumb and seed on the tray, which took him about half an hour.
Since then he’s started to bring a couple of mates as well, both as fat as him. Occasionally their party is interrupted by a gang of crows that rush in, scare them off and have a feast, until I scare the crows away because they’re so ugly I won’t allow them to eat MY bird food on my watch.
I still get the occasional Black bird and smaller birds as well, but mostly my garden is now ruled by these three pigeons – sometimes in the afternoon I have seen a couple of their lady friends stopping by as well, but not very often so I guess they’re not allowed out much.
Have you ever noticed how, when pigeons start flapping their wings and get ready for lift-off, this squeaking sound that seems to be coming from inside them somewhere, probably in the area where their wings are attached to the body? I’ve never heard this sound from any other birds when they’re getting on their wings. This has now led me to believe that pigeons aren’t real birds, they are bird bots!
And why would there be such a thing you may ask? What would I know, I’m sure who ever is building these bird bots doesn’t intend for us to find out that they aren’t real, and won’t reveal for what evil purposed they are spreading these “things” all over the planet. It might be aliens using them to spy on us before they invade, it might be the government who wants to make sure that no one does any work without paying their taxes or have a TV without paying the licence or it may actually be George Bush. Why George Bush you say? How on Earth would I know why, nothing of what he does makes sense to me anyway, so for him to be making bird bots doesn’t seem strange to me at all!
The only sure thing is that whoever is behind them, never thought that anyone would actually have enough time to waste to watch pigeons closely, I mean, they are everywhere, and there are so many of them, that I’ll bet that not even the most eager bird watchers spend any time on the seemingly boring pigeons, they usually tend to watch for more exotic birds. Face it, it’s the perfect cover!
Anyway… where was I… oh, yes, trying to write a novel in about ten days, that’s what I’m REALLY doing…
The first days I saw a couple of Black Birds, and even a few smaller birds that I don’t know the English names of. Then suddenly to my surprise it seemed to be getting rather quiet around my bird tray. The strange thing was though, that I could look out there and see no birds, come back half an hour later and still see no birds by the tray would be completely empty. For a while I considered if I might have stealth birds in my garden.
Then one day I caught him in action, the BIG FAT pigeon. He wobbled on to the bird tray, so fat he could hardly fit onto it, and he did not leave till he had eaten every last crumb and seed on the tray, which took him about half an hour.
Since then he’s started to bring a couple of mates as well, both as fat as him. Occasionally their party is interrupted by a gang of crows that rush in, scare them off and have a feast, until I scare the crows away because they’re so ugly I won’t allow them to eat MY bird food on my watch.
I still get the occasional Black bird and smaller birds as well, but mostly my garden is now ruled by these three pigeons – sometimes in the afternoon I have seen a couple of their lady friends stopping by as well, but not very often so I guess they’re not allowed out much.
Have you ever noticed how, when pigeons start flapping their wings and get ready for lift-off, this squeaking sound that seems to be coming from inside them somewhere, probably in the area where their wings are attached to the body? I’ve never heard this sound from any other birds when they’re getting on their wings. This has now led me to believe that pigeons aren’t real birds, they are bird bots!
And why would there be such a thing you may ask? What would I know, I’m sure who ever is building these bird bots doesn’t intend for us to find out that they aren’t real, and won’t reveal for what evil purposed they are spreading these “things” all over the planet. It might be aliens using them to spy on us before they invade, it might be the government who wants to make sure that no one does any work without paying their taxes or have a TV without paying the licence or it may actually be George Bush. Why George Bush you say? How on Earth would I know why, nothing of what he does makes sense to me anyway, so for him to be making bird bots doesn’t seem strange to me at all!
The only sure thing is that whoever is behind them, never thought that anyone would actually have enough time to waste to watch pigeons closely, I mean, they are everywhere, and there are so many of them, that I’ll bet that not even the most eager bird watchers spend any time on the seemingly boring pigeons, they usually tend to watch for more exotic birds. Face it, it’s the perfect cover!
Anyway… where was I… oh, yes, trying to write a novel in about ten days, that’s what I’m REALLY doing…
posted by Lena M Bakke @ 1:54 PM
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