About being tired – notebook entry on 12th of July

I’m so dead tired these days it’s hard to get anything useful done. Today I even had to sleep for an hour in the evening because I was just too tired to stay awake. And when I go through periods of exhaustion like the one I’m in now I keep wondering if it’s just me being lazy or if it’s the Thyroid’s disease that is fuckin’ up my systems?

When I was first diagnosed in 2000 with Hypothyroidism I read just about every article I could find about it and I even joined the national association for people with Thyroid’s disease. The more involved I got though the more I felt like this illness would take over my life; that this would be all I was about, that I would start to blame all my failures on it, and every time I wouldn’t feel like doing something I would blame Hypothyroidism; “poor poor me who just can’t cope!” And I did not want to be that kind of person. I am sure that there are people who really are terribly ill from Thyroid’s disease and who can’t do anything else than life the life it allows them to, but not me!

So I stopped reading about it and I cancelled my membership in the association because all this would do was telling me just how bad some people could get from Hypothyroidism. Focusing on all the bad stuff that might be has never helped anyone so…. Now I don’t think about it very much, I take my pills everyday as I will have to for the rest of my life and that’s it!

But sometimes when I get so tired and exhausted as I’ve been lately with no apparent reason I can’t help but wonder: is it the disease or am I just being lazy? And I’ll never know!