I wish it wasn’t so….
I’m not getting much useful done these days. The thing is, what I should be doing is finish editing my novel “365 days”. This is the novel that I sent to a publisher last September/October, they sent it back but said that they like the story and the characters but that it’s to long in its’ current form – they did however say that they’d want to read it again if I would shorten it down, a lot! And I planned to do this very soon after that, as it turns out, I have a really hard time doing it.
Originally the manuscript was 272 pages, I’ve cut about 30 of those, but since they wanted me to cut a lot I guess that would mean about 60 or 70 pages – and it’s so hard to do it. It’s not like I mean that it’s 100% perfect in its’ current form, it’s not, but it is hard to take things out without destroying the story or disrupting the pace. Another thing is that I am a bit tired of this story at the moment myself. I worked on it for several years, and while I did that, there wasn’t much else that I actually wrote, and it’s like I’m not really ready to do this editing stuff yet, because I don’t feel inspired to do it.
So, now I haven’t done anything with it for several months, and I feel very bad about it, because when I finally find a publisher that kind of likes what I write, I really should try to finish it and get it back to them as soon as possible, and so far I just haven’t been able to do so. I keep thinking about it all the time though, and this disrupts all my other writing, because it’s like I can’t focus on that while I know that this big task still remains to be done, silly I know, but this is how I feel. I do what I need to do to get through my internet course, which is still so great, and which I’d really want to participate in even more than I do – but this “365 days” thing that I should be doing and is not, it’s occupying my brain, it’s the last thing I think about before I go to sleep and the first thing I think about when I wake up – but I still can’t get around to do it.
Yes, I know – I’m a mess! For now anyway, I’ll get through it somehow. I’ve got 2 choices really: either make my peace with the fact that I won’t be able to finish the work on “365 days” now and then put it aside for when I feel inspired to do so – or just somehow force myself to do it even though I hate the thought of it right now, just to prove that I can and then send it back to the publisher and have the problem out of my life, at least for a while.
When I manage to make a choice I’ll tell you all about it!
Originally the manuscript was 272 pages, I’ve cut about 30 of those, but since they wanted me to cut a lot I guess that would mean about 60 or 70 pages – and it’s so hard to do it. It’s not like I mean that it’s 100% perfect in its’ current form, it’s not, but it is hard to take things out without destroying the story or disrupting the pace. Another thing is that I am a bit tired of this story at the moment myself. I worked on it for several years, and while I did that, there wasn’t much else that I actually wrote, and it’s like I’m not really ready to do this editing stuff yet, because I don’t feel inspired to do it.
So, now I haven’t done anything with it for several months, and I feel very bad about it, because when I finally find a publisher that kind of likes what I write, I really should try to finish it and get it back to them as soon as possible, and so far I just haven’t been able to do so. I keep thinking about it all the time though, and this disrupts all my other writing, because it’s like I can’t focus on that while I know that this big task still remains to be done, silly I know, but this is how I feel. I do what I need to do to get through my internet course, which is still so great, and which I’d really want to participate in even more than I do – but this “365 days” thing that I should be doing and is not, it’s occupying my brain, it’s the last thing I think about before I go to sleep and the first thing I think about when I wake up – but I still can’t get around to do it.
Yes, I know – I’m a mess! For now anyway, I’ll get through it somehow. I’ve got 2 choices really: either make my peace with the fact that I won’t be able to finish the work on “365 days” now and then put it aside for when I feel inspired to do so – or just somehow force myself to do it even though I hate the thought of it right now, just to prove that I can and then send it back to the publisher and have the problem out of my life, at least for a while.
When I manage to make a choice I’ll tell you all about it!
posted by Lena M Bakke @ 10:52 PM
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