It’s about time…
I’m starting to feel like it’s about time that I fell in love again. It seems as if there’s something missing in my life. And don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying I’m looking for a relationship, I might, I don’t know, but what I’m thinking about right now is the emotional side of being in love with someone. I can read what I used to write about being in love, and I can of course sort of still remember how it was, but I just miss the feeling.
It must be 3 – 4 years now since the last time I was really truly in love with someone. Now, that wasn’t all happiness, and actually probably caused me more pain than anything else, and it didn’t end well either. Still, I wouldn’t have been without it. I miss the butterflies in the stomach, getting weak in the knees, feeling light-headed, giddy, giggling like a teenager – all those things that happen to you when you’re mad about someone. It’s the best kind of high, isn’t it?
There has been a couple of guys in the last year, that I was thinking, “well, he might be interesting, maybe I could fall in love with him if there just was more time” – but there wasn’t so nothing came of it with neither of them. And I am curious, is it possible to lose the ability to fall in love? I’m not being dramatic here and saying I think I can’t fall in love anymore, I’m pretty sure I can when the right guy comes along. It just seems that the older I get, and the more “set in my ways” I get, the harder it is to find that right guy to fall in love with. I still remember vividly what it was like being a teenager (and the things I can’t remember I can read about in my diaries) and I was, it seems, always in love with at least 3 guys at the same time, sometimes more. Perhaps when you get older you get more cynical. I used to be able to fall in love with a cute smile, warm eyes, an infectious laughter, a good dancer – there was always this one thing that would make me fall for someone – and now it seems that I want all the things, in one guy, and my brain keeps telling me it doesn’t work that way.
I guess what brought these thoughts on in the first place is that I got a bit bummed out when seeing “Pirates of the Caribbean – World’s end” on Wednesday. Even though it is an action movie, it is also very much a love story, and even more so in this third movie than the first two, and Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightley both do a very good job at playing Will and Elisabeth in love, and I was just sitting in the cinema thinking, I wish I could feel that way about someone. And after the movie that thought just doesn’t seem to go away.
But, as I strongly believe that you can’t go out searching for this feeling, searching for someone to fall in love with, I guess I will just have to let things run its course, and… oh, well… it’ll happen when it happens.
It must be 3 – 4 years now since the last time I was really truly in love with someone. Now, that wasn’t all happiness, and actually probably caused me more pain than anything else, and it didn’t end well either. Still, I wouldn’t have been without it. I miss the butterflies in the stomach, getting weak in the knees, feeling light-headed, giddy, giggling like a teenager – all those things that happen to you when you’re mad about someone. It’s the best kind of high, isn’t it?
There has been a couple of guys in the last year, that I was thinking, “well, he might be interesting, maybe I could fall in love with him if there just was more time” – but there wasn’t so nothing came of it with neither of them. And I am curious, is it possible to lose the ability to fall in love? I’m not being dramatic here and saying I think I can’t fall in love anymore, I’m pretty sure I can when the right guy comes along. It just seems that the older I get, and the more “set in my ways” I get, the harder it is to find that right guy to fall in love with. I still remember vividly what it was like being a teenager (and the things I can’t remember I can read about in my diaries) and I was, it seems, always in love with at least 3 guys at the same time, sometimes more. Perhaps when you get older you get more cynical. I used to be able to fall in love with a cute smile, warm eyes, an infectious laughter, a good dancer – there was always this one thing that would make me fall for someone – and now it seems that I want all the things, in one guy, and my brain keeps telling me it doesn’t work that way.
I guess what brought these thoughts on in the first place is that I got a bit bummed out when seeing “Pirates of the Caribbean – World’s end” on Wednesday. Even though it is an action movie, it is also very much a love story, and even more so in this third movie than the first two, and Orlando Bloom and Keira Knightley both do a very good job at playing Will and Elisabeth in love, and I was just sitting in the cinema thinking, I wish I could feel that way about someone. And after the movie that thought just doesn’t seem to go away.
But, as I strongly believe that you can’t go out searching for this feeling, searching for someone to fall in love with, I guess I will just have to let things run its course, and… oh, well… it’ll happen when it happens.
posted by Lena M Bakke @ 3:05 PM
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