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Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Cutting it short – or am I?

Tomorrow it´s 5 weeks since we came to Gran Canaria, and most of my enthusiasm for this place is now gone.

I don´t really know what kind of expectations I had before I came here, but whatever they were, it really doesn´t feel as if they´ve been met. I guess for some people, living here is just not right – strange as that may seem.

The truth is, I´m so bored with this place now it feels as if I don´t get away soon I might lose my will to live! No, it´s not that bad, but it does feel like this place just sucks all of my energy out of me.

The sun has been shining since we came here 5 weeks ago, the temperature is fairly steady around 25 – 30 degrees every day. I know this might sound like heaven to some of my friends in Norway, England and Germany now that are experiencing anything but sun. To me, it´s just boring. Coming from a climate with lots of changes in weather, I´ve learnt to appreciate that. Now I long for a really cold evening when I can be inside, in front of a nice fire. Christmas is only about 6 weeks away and normally I would start looking forward to it and shopping for presents. In this weather I just can´t find the right spirit.

And there really isn´t that much to do here. During the day, sure, you can go on trips around the island and to the other islands – but in the evenings, all people do is hang out in bars, restaurants and clubs. There´s just so much a partying a person can do before even that loses its charm. I really long for the time when I will be looking forward to a party again.

I miss my friends and family almost desperately. When I was in England last year I was sometimes homesick too, but at least I had a purpose for being there, and here, I just don´t see the point anymore.

And by now I´m sure you´re all saying: stop whining and do something about it! And I probably will. This semester I´m doing a correspondence course in Nordic langauge and literature through the university of Bergen, and I applied to be allowed to have my exam at the Norwegian school here in Gran Canaria on the 27th of November. Today I´ve been in contact with the university and been told that I can move my exam to Bergen if I want to. There are flghts back to Norway that I can get on as early as Friday and it really would not cost me that much to change my ticket.

So – I can go home – if I want to. And I do want to go home – but at the same time I´m afraid that if I do – that I´ll regret it. It seems as if I do decide to go home earlier than planned, that I´m giving up – that´m a quitter, and I´m not that kind of person. But right now, if I do decide to leave soon, I don´t know what it is that I am quitting: a life and party? But I should not feel bad for quitting that – should I?

Even though I don´t want to be here any longer, it still is hard making the actual decision about leaving too. I will have to make the deciscion very soon though, because if I want to leave I´ll hae to change my flight – and make the neccessary arrangements to have my exam in Bergen.

And, oh, yeah, those of you who read this and know the friend that I´m down here with: she´s having a fabolous time and is now looking for a job here so she can move here permanently. And I´m really happy for her, just as she understands that this life is not for me. We are still the best of friends even though we are very different people.

I will let you know shortly what my decision is.

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