Winter

Beautiful, isn't it?

Bærtur

I’m sorry I haven’t been able to post anything on this blog for quite a while. It seemed I actually managed to get so fed up with Gran Canaria before I got out of there, that I got myself a tiny little depression that it took me a couple of days after I got back home to shake off. It didn’t exactly help that I knew I had an exam coming in only 6 days when I set foot on Norwegian ground again last Wednesday, and exam I hardly had been able to study for because I was simply just fed up with absolutely everything when I was still on that island.

Now however, since I came out from the exam on Tuesday my mood has been improving a lot. Did the exam go well you probably wonder, oh, well, let’s put it this way…

In Norwegian we have an expression that translated into English would say something like “Someone is on a trip looking for berries”, there’s a word for this in Norwegian called “Bærtur”, which directly translated bær = berries, tur = trip. If someone is on a “bærtur” it means they have no idea what they’re talking about or what they’re doing. I’ll use this expression to explain how my exam went:
I wasn’t exactly on a “bærtur”, but I was standing on the edge of the forest, intensely studying the red and blue berries and seriously considering bending down to pick some. That I think pretty accurately describes how my exam went. The results will be ready in week 51; I’ll try not to spend too much time thinking about it till then.

So with my exam done and my MA dissertation finished I guessed I’m really on a little Christmas break now – and today it’s been snowing almost all day long, and I love every bit of it. It was just so right for me to leave Gran Canaria behind when I was as miserable as I was – and now I’m just really looking forward to the Christmas party on the 13th of December when I get to meet lots of friends that I haven’t seen for quite a while – I’m sure it’ll be great, it usually is.

I’ll be writing a bit more about Gran Canaria eventually, but I need some more distance before I get around to that.

I´m going home

You´ve probably already guessed what my decision today ended up being - I´m going home. Not immediately but a lot earlier than 5th of December - I´ll be heading home to Norway next Wednesday on the 21st. And so far I´m very happy with my decision, let´s home it stays that way. It ended up costing me a little bit more than I expected, but once my decision was made - I just could not change it. I´m really looking forward to going home now, and will do my best to enjoy my final week here. 6 weeks is more than enough for me!

Cutting it short – or am I?

Tomorrow it´s 5 weeks since we came to Gran Canaria, and most of my enthusiasm for this place is now gone.

I don´t really know what kind of expectations I had before I came here, but whatever they were, it really doesn´t feel as if they´ve been met. I guess for some people, living here is just not right – strange as that may seem.

The truth is, I´m so bored with this place now it feels as if I don´t get away soon I might lose my will to live! No, it´s not that bad, but it does feel like this place just sucks all of my energy out of me.

The sun has been shining since we came here 5 weeks ago, the temperature is fairly steady around 25 – 30 degrees every day. I know this might sound like heaven to some of my friends in Norway, England and Germany now that are experiencing anything but sun. To me, it´s just boring. Coming from a climate with lots of changes in weather, I´ve learnt to appreciate that. Now I long for a really cold evening when I can be inside, in front of a nice fire. Christmas is only about 6 weeks away and normally I would start looking forward to it and shopping for presents. In this weather I just can´t find the right spirit.

And there really isn´t that much to do here. During the day, sure, you can go on trips around the island and to the other islands – but in the evenings, all people do is hang out in bars, restaurants and clubs. There´s just so much a partying a person can do before even that loses its charm. I really long for the time when I will be looking forward to a party again.

I miss my friends and family almost desperately. When I was in England last year I was sometimes homesick too, but at least I had a purpose for being there, and here, I just don´t see the point anymore.

And by now I´m sure you´re all saying: stop whining and do something about it! And I probably will. This semester I´m doing a correspondence course in Nordic langauge and literature through the university of Bergen, and I applied to be allowed to have my exam at the Norwegian school here in Gran Canaria on the 27th of November. Today I´ve been in contact with the university and been told that I can move my exam to Bergen if I want to. There are flghts back to Norway that I can get on as early as Friday and it really would not cost me that much to change my ticket.

So – I can go home – if I want to. And I do want to go home – but at the same time I´m afraid that if I do – that I´ll regret it. It seems as if I do decide to go home earlier than planned, that I´m giving up – that´m a quitter, and I´m not that kind of person. But right now, if I do decide to leave soon, I don´t know what it is that I am quitting: a life and party? But I should not feel bad for quitting that – should I?

Even though I don´t want to be here any longer, it still is hard making the actual decision about leaving too. I will have to make the deciscion very soon though, because if I want to leave I´ll hae to change my flight – and make the neccessary arrangements to have my exam in Bergen.

And, oh, yeah, those of you who read this and know the friend that I´m down here with: she´s having a fabolous time and is now looking for a job here so she can move here permanently. And I´m really happy for her, just as she understands that this life is not for me. We are still the best of friends even though we are very different people.

I will let you know shortly what my decision is.