Not often, but at least a few times I have replied to profiles that people publish on different dating sites on the internet. One of the reasons I haven’t replied to many is that I’m very “picky” in what I search for.
A profile that I reply to must be well written with a long textual description of the person. I always look for those who are in some ways artistic or at least like to read a lot. I also prefer those with higher education, but it’s not a “must”. There are lots of intelligent people who don’t have or don’t need an education to prove that.
Anyway, just before I went on my vacation I replied to another profile: an Englishman living in Oslo. Of course, as I am very interested in the English he does seem interesting to me.
When I got back from my vacation I had got an answer from him, he sent me a photo and asked for mine. From what he wrote he does seem nice, but then again, what can you really tell from a short email? He did however state that he wanted us to exchange photos because he thinks that the physicalities are important when two people meet.
That got me thinking!
I would say that yes, when you meet people in real life, physics are important – it gives you the first impression. This has always been a problem for me, because I’m more interested in what’s on the inside of people, not how they look. I must admit I have met a lot of beautiful people in my life who turned out to be rather shallow and mostly very occupied with their own or other people’s appearances. It seems that if people are not typically attractive by “the normal standards” they enhance other features about themselves, and so if often seems to me that people who don’t fulfil the “normal beauty standards” are more interesting than those who do.
If I walk into a room of men and is asked to pick out whom I’d like to get to know better, in 99% of the cases I’ll probably avoid the typically beautiful men. I’ll look for men with glasses (I need intelligent people around me – and I guess my sub-conscience connects glasses with intelligence!!) – if they look a bit “nerdy” those are the ones I’d like to get to know better.
I think people who chose other people according to how beautiful they are are shallow, BUT who am I to talk – because, obviously I also choose and judge people by their physical appearances! And I really shouldn’t think beautiful people shallow just because they look good!
Having then established that yes I do think physical appearances are to some extent important when meeting new people – it is certainly not so on the Internet!! For me that is the whole point of using the Internet to get to know new people; I can learn what’s on the inside and not be “confused” by what people look like. If you exchange a few emails, you’ll soon learn if you’ve got enough in common to create chemistry – and if that’s right – who cares what people look like? In most cases your looks will probably been gone long before your brain does.
I do find however, on the Internet, that men are still very occupied with looks, they always ask for a photo in the first email. Why is that? If all you’re interested in is dating a supermodel, you might as well go out in the real world and approach any good-looking woman you meet!
You might be thinking that I’ve got issues about the way I look myself and that this is why I am so annoyed by this. Most people usually have some issues about their looks – as do I – but luckily, with growing older I have also grown to like myself. I am quite confident with the way I look, some people think I’m attractive others don’t – and so? My friends like me for who I am, all of me, what do I care what strangers think of me? So, that is truly not why I’m annoyed. It’s just irritating when you’ve got the perfect tool of getting to know people without “clouding your eyes” with what they look like – people are still very occupied with the wrapping and not what’s on the inside!
I am a bit sceptical of this guy as I always am when people immediately ask for my photo, it does seem a bit shallow, doesn’t it?
Usually when guys offer to send me their photo and ask for mine I’ll just say NO! and explain that I want us to exchange at least a few emails to see if there’s anything there before we get to the photos. If there’s nothing in common, no chemistry, why would I want to know what someone looks like? This guy then has already sent me his photo, and I have thought I’ll give him one more chance, so I have sent him a couple of photos, but I have also said in the email that I think chemistry is far more important than physics.
I might tell you more later on how it goes!
