The loss of a pet

I just spoke with my mother on the phone, and she told me that she had been to the veterinary today and put my cat, Fremon, to sleep. He wasn't a very old cat, but not very young any more either, he would've been 13 in November. About a month ago we discoverd that he had some lumps on his stomach, so my mother called the veterinary and they said that she didn't need to bring him in as long as he was comfortable, because there wasn't really anything they could do for him. Last weekend one of the lumps broke, yesterday my mother took him to the vet and they told her it would be best for him not to live anymore. It's so sad loosing a pet.

I bought him in February 1992, when he was only a kitten, and he lived with me for almost 2 years. Then my living situation changed and I couldn't have him living with me anymore, so he moved to my parents in the countryside of Solör. My parents had two other cats; Ellinor and Dorthe, together Dorthe and Fremon had 3 children, Darwin, Daisy and Dahlia. Now there are only 3 left; Dorthe, Darwin and Daisy. We've had to put both Ellinor and Dahlia to sleep earlier because they were ill.

So, on this day that I was so happy about my A grade on my exam, I'm not so happy anymore. Those who don't care much for animals will probably say it's silly to be sad for the loss of a cat, and maybe on some levels it is. Still, I've always been very fond of animals, and I'm a big cat lover, and Fremon, he used to be mine. The others have always lived with my parents, so even though I love them too, Fremon was something special - and now he's gone.

I know it was for his best that we let him go, but still it's so sad that he's gone and that I won't ever be able to hug him or cuddle him anymore. He was such a great cat!

The results are in....

I finally got the last result from my exam which I've been waiting for for several days now. And I'm so happy about the A that I got that I just have to share it with the world, I actually got an A in "British media". I knew I had done well, and I was sort of hoping for an A, but hoping for something and actually beliving it are two very different things. I know I belive it now though!

I'll be celebrating it this weekend when I go back home to Solör. There's a big fair called "Solör Mart'n" starting today and lasting till Sunday. It's the best weekend of the year to be in Solör, because there are biertents and other temporary places to go out at Flisa, and there are always lots of people that you haven't seen for many years who come home for this weekend. Yeah, I think I'll have plenty of opportunity for celebrating my exams!

A couple of Norwegian poems

And, as promised, here are a couple of poems in Norwegian. For those of you who have just been to lazy to learn Norwegian so far, well, what can I say but; that's your loss!!! :-)

Kjærtegn
Og DU
Du gir meg en klem
smiler
"nå!" tenker du
nå er alt passert
alt lagt bak oss
Tror du virkelig
at
jeg er så dum?
at
jeg glemmer så fort?
at
jeg tilgir så lett?

Jeg klemmer igjen
smiler
hadde du
tatt deg tid
til å se ut av
din snevre verden
se øynene mine
hadde du
aldri smilt
aldri klemt meg
aldri trådd meg
så nær
nå!

Bilder
Noen bilder
vil ikke tegnes
slik jeg ser dem
fra innsiden

vil ikke føles
vil ikke males

ingen farger passer
formen er helt feil

bildet er bare mitt
vil ikke vises
for andre

Poems

As I've mentioned earlier I am planning to publish some of my writing her as well. The problem is of course that most of my writing so far has been in Norwegian, so I haven't really got that much to publish in English. I have how ever made an attempt to write some poems, and a short-story in English. I will also have to practice writing in English a lot more than I have done so far, since I am planning to apply for the Master's study in Creative writing at University college Chichester next year, and for that I must submit either some poems or a short-story.

Anyway, here is one of my poems. Since I guess that at least some of those reading this page are Norwegian I will also publish Norwegian poems for them to enjoy, or not...

But first, in English:

Emptiness
Biting
my nail
staring
at nothing
outside
the window

Empty should
be black
but is not
it's everything
that does
not seem
empty

My eyes are
black
and
empty
You think
You see
You say

I say
Bite me!

365 Days

My big dream in life is to be able to make a living from my writing. For as long as I can remember I have always loved to write. My favourite subjects in school where always Norwegian and English because it meant that I got to write essays.

I write poems, short stories, and last year I even finished my first novel: "365 days". I have been rejected by 5 publishers so far, and a month ago I handed it in to the 6th publisher, and I got a letter 2 days ago saying I'll get an answer from them in about 2 - 3 months. I don't really expect it to be a positive one. What I do hope is that the consultant reading the book for the publishing company might actually be kind enough to let me know what they liked or disliked about my manuscript. Usually you only get a couple of lines saying something like "thanks for letting us read it - but no thanks!". I did get one rejection letter once which actually was almost a whole page of comments, and that was really helpfull - so that is sort of the best I'm hoping for when I've not got another company considering my novel.

I will of course tell about it when I hear from them again.

When will I ever learn?

Yesterday was quite an exhausting day, and totally my own fault that it was! On Tuesday afternoon we had a summerparty at the office. My big plan was of course to make sure that I didn't get home and to bed very late since I had an important meeting on Weednesday. Things didn't go exactly as planned. It was such a nice summer evening and the beer was so cold and refreshing and suddenly it was 2 at night before I got back home. No need to say that Wednesday was a tough one. I managed to drag myself to work at 9, my meeting started at 12 and lasted for 3 hours - and I had a hell of a time trying to look alert and awake, and staying focused and concentrated at the same time. I don't know what it is that make me hurt myself like this!!!

I mean, I should be old enough by now to do the sensible and right things to make sure that my days don't get any harder than they have to be. I guess the problem really is that I haven't got enough "bad friends" since I find it harder for each year passing to find someone who wants to go out for a beer or 3 occasionally, which means that the few times I actually find someone who wants to go out, the number of beers finally had will amount to a little more than 3!!

When I got back from work, I slept from half 5 to half 8, and watched a terribly bad movie on TV3, "Dance with me", untill midnight. Why would I keep watching a really bad movie for that long? Well, there was some good latino music, there was some dancing - and there was a really good looking man who was also good at dancing - what more can a woman ask for on a slightly hangover day??

Today I'm mostly bothered by the fact that I still haven't got the last result from the two exams I did this spring. The result should have been ready on Tuesday, but there are some delays and I still just have to wait patiently, which is a problem because I'm really not the kind of person who is able to do that. So now I'm sort of walking around in circles inside my head, and checking out the studentweb site every 5 minutes hoping there'll be something new! No such luck so far. I did get a B on my first exam which I got the result on last Tuesday, and I'm really happy about that. The reason why I'm so anxious about the next one is that I feel it went even better, and I'm hoping for an A, and I'm really curious about whether it is as good as I have convinced myself that it is.

This is probably what will occupy my mind most of Thursday.

In the beginning there was...

So, I have actually been thinking about it for a couple of months now that I should also let the world know about all the amazing stuff that's going on in my head, or my life, or... And I blogger page seemed like the obvious best way to do this.

However getting from the point of making the decision to actually get this blogger page up an runing where to completely different things.

My first big choice was on language: Norwegian or English? Norwegian would've have been the easy choice, since it is my native language, but through the years I have also managed to make some friends from other parts of the world, who can't be said to read Norwegian very well, or at all, so for them too to be able to enjoy this! my choice of language ended up being English. Since it's not my native language, that probably means I'll mess up the use of words or grammar from time to time - as long as you get what I mean - don't be bothered by it!

I have been worrying that once I've got this page that I will have nothing usefull at all to put on it, but then I have seen that there are other blogger pages on the internet as well that don't really say much at all - so why shouldn't I have one as well. The other worry was that I might end up putting way to much information into this page, information that shouldn't really be published in a place where everybody can read it... often, once I first start writing I find it is hard to stop, a good thing perhaps since my big interest in life is writing, but not if I share things that shouldn't have been shared... Oh - well, I'll worry about that if it happens, and just try not to make it happen, or... whatever...

You might be curious as to what it will be about in the coming days and months, I don't really know. Nothing and everything I guess. I think I'll publish some of my writing here, both poems and short stories, maybe even parts of the novel I've written that's never been published. And I will certainly comment on things going on in my life, what I'm thinking and feeling and... Politics?Probably that too, I do have a hard time keeping my mouth shut and will certainly comment on politics, both on the things I know something about and those I don't know anything about at all!

So, I guess this is it then, my first posting on my very own blogger page. What will become of it remains to be seen...