Life, the universe and ... oh, whatever ...

Thursday, August 31, 2006

Last day

I’ve almost finished packing; the only things not in the suitcase by now are the things I need to use before I pack them. I’m not exactly nervous, but I’m not totally calm either, it’s more like I’m walking in circles waiting for things to happen. I keep thinking how good it’ll be once I’ve arrived in Bognor Regis tomorrow and have checked into my room and can take a walk to inspect the city. The forecast says rain in Bognor Regis tomorrow, hopefully not all the time so that I’ll really get to walk around there for a couple of hours, just looking – and buying a hair dryer.

And I guess that’s it really, there’s not much else going on in my mind today, obviously, than this moving. I’m a bit tired as I forced myself out of bed pretty early this morning (oh, well, early for me anyway, which was about a quarter to 9) hoping that I’ll be able to go to bed around 9 this evening and get at least a couple of hours sleep before I have to get up at 0230 this night.

Not worried, just excited, and a little tired…

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

2 days to go

So you’re probably looking for some posting here saying that I’m so nervous and stressed out about moving to England? Well, I am stressed out, not so much about the move it self, that still feels unreal, but the packing is killing me! I called British Airways today to ask them if there was anything special I would have to think about when coming to the airport on Friday morning as I will be travelling with about 50 kilos of luggage. Here’s how that conversation went:

Me: “I’ll be travelling to England on Friday morning, and as I’m moving to England for a year I will be bringing quite a bit more luggage than normal, I’d guess about 50 kilos. Is there anything special I should think about before travelling?”
BA lady: “Just make sure to get to the airport early for check in”
Me: “And that’s all?”
BA lady: “Yes that’s all”
Me: “OK then…..”
BA lady: “Oh, did you say you’ll be travelling with 50 kilos?”
Me: “Yes, about 50 kilos, in 2 suitcases and a laptop bag, I’ll obviously bring the laptop bag on board but I want to send the 2 suitcases as normal luggage”
BA lady: “I’m not sure if you’ll be allowed to bring that much luggage, 50 kilos?”
Me: “Yes, 50 kilos – who then can tell me if I’ll be allowed to bring this much luggage?”
BA lady: “I think you should call our cargo department in Sweden”
Me: “But that means that the suitcases won’t be on the same plane as me and I’ll have to go back to the airport and pick them up later?”
BA lady: “Yes that is correct”
Me: “Well, that’s no good to me, because that will be a lot more extra work for me to get to the airport to pick it up”
BA lady: “I think you should call our cargo department”
Me: “Who can I talk to who can tell me exactly how much luggage I am allowed to bring with me on the plane on Friday?”
BA lady: “I think 50 kilos is to much”
Me: “Who can I talk to who can tell me how much I can bring?”
BA lady: “I think you’d better call our cargo department”
Me: “Who can I talk to that can tell me how much I can bring on the plane on Friday?”
BA lady: “I’m really not sure but I think 50 kilos is more than you’ll be allowed to bring on the plane, you should call our cargo department!”
Me: “Who can I…..? Oh, well, thank you SO very much for your service, bye!”

So, yes, I gave up talking with this lady, I mean, honestly, why haven’t they got anyone who can tell me how much I really am allowed to bring on board on Friday. I mean, I’ve read all their rules and regulations about luggage, and it does not say anywhere that 50 kilos is too much. Obviously there is a limit, or people might be arriving at the airport with 500 kilos or something, but 50 kilos really isn’t that much. Two normal suitcases easily weigh 20 – 22 kilos when they’re full, and my laptop alone weighs nearly 5 kilos.

What I have done though, is gone through my luggage one more time, and now I’m down to the two suitcases weigh in total 34 kilos, and then there’s the laptop bag. I have bought these “carry on” packages from the post office: you pay 290 kr for a box that you can put things in, up to 10 kilos, and then you can send it anywhere in Europe. I’ve bought two of these, and my mum will send them to me in England when I’m settled and have got a permanent address there.

What annoys me right now is that because I got so frustrated with the BA lady (who also for some reason spoke very poorly English!) I forgot to ask just exactly how much I’ll have to pay for each kilo extra that I bring on the plane. I’m guessing about 50 kr pr kilo, but I could of course be very very wrong which will make this move a lot more expensive than I thought. Oh, well, I’ll find out on Friday I guess – and I’m just hoping that I’ll be allowed to bring a little less than 40 kilos with me – because obviously, no one at BA is able to tell me if I may or may not do this!

Monday, August 28, 2006


Extremely frustrated!!!

Today I decided that what I need to be doing is writing all of my old poems in Word on my laptop so that I can bring them with me to England without having to carry a lot of extra papers.

The thing about writing poetry is that you kind of decide yourself when I line has to end and a new one begin, and you also decide what feels right for when there's a new Big letter to start a line or a sentence...... not so with Microsoft Word, that program has decided that every new line MUST start with a big letter, and I've been searching the program through to find out how the fuck I turn off the auto-correction that tells my computer to do this, with no luck. I've spent more than an hour searching the help section, reading everything it says about auto-correction and big letters, still nothing.....

So what I have to do now when I type a poem I have to go through the whole thing afterwards correcting just about every line as it starts with a big letter.

If anyone has any idea of how to make this stop happening, please please do tell me - I would be ever so grateful as this thing has bugged me ever since I bought this computer. And the strangest thing is, with the OLD versions of Word it was really simple to turn of the auto-correction thing, with this newer version it's impossible to find out how. And I'm so mad and frustrated now that I feel like throwing my computer as far as I can get it!

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

In the beginning there was….

Two empty suitcases and a newly bought laptop bag.
Today I start packing for England.
10 days left.

Sunday, August 20, 2006

Webcam troubles

Yesterday I bought a webcam; I actually bought one both for me and for my father. The idea is that my parents and I will be able to, through MSN, see and talk with each other when I’m in England. My camera works just fine, even when using MSN – but for some reason my father’s camera doesn’t work on MSN. That is, it worked for 3 minutes and then suddenly the camera screen went grey, and after that we just can’t restart it, in MSN – it works fine otherwise. None of us are computer experts, and I’ve tried the few things I know to do (like restarting, reinstalling – and trying my camera on his computer and the other way around).

It really makes me curious about what could be wrong, because the thing is: we’ve got the exact same laptop, bought at the very same time, and we’ve got the exact same camera, AND we did the installation process together and installed it in the very same way. Mine works fine, his doesn’t. MSN keeps insisting that the camera is either not working properly or some other program is using the camera – my best guess would then be that there is some program installed on my father’s laptop that I haven’t got that is secretly using the camera – I just can’t find out which program. So, for now, we still haven’t been able to try out the whole seeing and talking through the internet thing – but as soon as we can get some expert to find out what’s wrong I’m sure we’ll get there.

I’m not necessarily sure if this webcam thing will be a blessing otherwise though, because if someone wants to video chat with me through MSN, now I will suddenly have to think about things like: is my make up alright, and my hair, do I look tired…. Could be a nightmare…. :-)

Thursday, August 17, 2006

2 weeks

It’s 2 weeks till I move to England, and it still just seems so far away – it’s like the reality of it hasn’t hit me yet. I lie in my bed at night trying to imagine that in a couple of weeks time I’ll be in England, not on vacation, but for a very long time, actually living there, completely changing my life, but I still can’t imagine it – is that weird? I keep wondering when reality is going to hit me, emotionally – because mentally, of course I understand what’s happening, I’m just not feeling it yet, and this I find strange.

As I’ve written earlier I still don’t have a permanent place to live when I get to England and finding a B&B turned out to be harder than I thought as “The Goodwood Revival” is on for the weekend of 1st to 3rd of September. This is some kind of veteran race car thing that happens every year I think, and it brings lots of people to town so obviously all hotels and B&Bs have been fully booked for months in Chichester and the area around. I thought that this could be a problem, and that I might end up having to live somewhere an hour or more away from Chichester when I got there – fortunately the university could help me. As most students don’t arrive till mid-September, I’ve been offered a room at the university’s Bognor Regis Campus till the 14th of September. This is great, it’ll give me a chance to search for a flat, and if I can’t find one it will also give me a chance to get to know both Chichester and Bognor Regis and find a nice B&B that I can book myself into after the 14th of September. So sorry to all my friends who’d been planning to come visit and knock on my door on the 2nd of September or something….. you’ll have to wait a little bit longer than that.

And I keep thinking about Friday the 1st of September, about getting up in the morning (or rather night as I’ll have to leave at 4am to get to the airport around 6), my parents will drive me to the airport, I’ll check in my baggage (which will weigh WAY to much and will cost me a fortune to bring to England), say goodbye to my parents (which will probably be tough, both me and my mum being a bit emotional about these things), waiting for the plane, getting to Heathrow a quarter past 9, having a taxi from Chichester pick me up (which isn’t as expensive as you should think as this company in Chichester has special deals for airport transfer, around £60, and with all the luggage I’ll be bringing – it’ll be worth it!), arriving at Bognor Regis Campus around 12, checking into my room – and then…. Well, I’ll probably inspect Bognor Regis, find out where I must go to get the bus or train to Chichester for my 9 o’clock assembly at the university on Saturday morning, in the evening I might check out the local bar on campus “The Macklin” but probably won’t be very late because I’ve been up since the middle of the night.

This seems to be a very likely “plan” for my moving day, and thinking about it, well it still seems unreal – and honestly, the only thing that’s been worrying me about this so far is: “It probably won’t be a TV in my room”. Let’s hope that will be the biggest of my worries!

Faded feelings

It so strange, when you have really strong feelings about somebody, and when you haven’t seen them for a while, how the feelings seem to fade away. Then, when you meet them again, the feelings you thought were gone, they’re suddenly back just as strong as they used to be. Makes you wonder when you know there are persons in your past that you used to have strong feelings about, and that you haven’t seen for years, if you suddenly were to meet them again – would all the feelings still be there?

Saturday, August 12, 2006

Reading list

I did earlier this summer receive a lot of papers with things to do before I start on my Master’s degree studies in September. Among these papers were also lists of recommended reading, where I was to pick at least 5 books to read before we start. I have now bought and will in the next week be reading the following:

Ali Smith – The Accidental (I’ve actually read half of this already and I really like it!)
Tim Krabbé – The Vanishing
Maxine Hong Kingston – The Woman Warrior
Gabriel García Márques – One Hundred Years of Solitude
D M Thomas – The White Hotel
The Bloodaxe Book of 20th century poetry (I’ve been advised to read at least 1 – 2 poems each day for 2 weeks)

So now that I’ve finished my online course in creative writing I know what I will be doing in the next couple of weeks in my preparations for the next course.

Change of plans

As I’ve been writing here earlier I was planning to go to England and Chichester from the 14th to 16th of August to view some potential properties for rent when I move there – well today I’ve cancelled this trip the reason being that there are no properties available that I can see when I’m there.

I thought about going anyway, thinking that it might be a good idea to walk around to the different letting agencies, giving them my documents that prove my income and so on, and I probably would have if it had not been for the recent developments in the last days on the terrorist front.

No, I’m not very worried about the actually flying thing, I am probably naïve but I really can’t imagine that any terrorists could be bothered to enter a plane between Norway and England to “do their thing”. What I am worried about is that like an episode of Twilight Zone I might get stuck in Heathrow never to get out of there again, not on my way to England but on my way home.

I do also firmly believe in the “crookedness of men”, which means that I think there are bad people every where, probably working as baggage crew in both Heathrow and Gardermoen as well. What they will find now is that almost every suitcase will carry: mobile phones, iPods, laptops and lots of other expensive equipment – all up for grabs! Anyone wants to make a bet that the amount of suitcases disappearing, never to be seen again, in airports will increase a lot in the next couple of weeks??? I don’t particularly feel like sending my 3500 NOK worth of mobile phone, and my 1500 NOK worth of iPod in my suitcase from Heathrow to Norway so…. Another reason for cancelling this trip.

Fortunately so far there are no new regulations on what you can carry on board in your hand luggage on flights FROM Norway to England, which means that when I move there in September I will get to carry my laptop, mobile phone, iPod and other stuff on board. When I get as far as to Christmas and I want to go back home for the holidays, if the restrictions still demand me putting all my valuable stuff in the suitcase to fly, well, then I simply won’t fly. Then a train trip to New Castle and the ferry to Bergen sounds like a pretty good idea to me – and then a plane from Bergen to Oslo. Will cost me a bit more probably and will take a bit more time, but I do think it’s worth it.

And don’t get me wrong here, I do understand why the British authorities find it necessary to try to do something to stop the terrorists, and they did a great job arresting those bastards before the weekend before they got the chance to kill thousands of mostly innocent people. Still, I can’t help but think that all this security measures it just gives people travelling some kind of false security, because I still believe that the really evil people, they will find a way to “do their thing” even when all of us others, mostly not so evil people, find we must be X-rayed before getting on a plane, and then having to take all our clothes off and fly naked to make sure we can’t really hide anything anywhere on or inside our bodies.

So, my plans have been changed. Now I’m looking into B&Bs in Chichester that I can book myself into for the first couple of weeks in September until I will hopefully find and rent a more permanent place of residence.


I’m back from Belgium now, and I thought I should write a few words about it.

We stayed one night in Namur:
Grey, dull, partly ugly place.
We stayed four nights in Oostende:
Grey, dull, partly ugly place – but with a very good choice of restaurants and a huge night life in the summer.

I can’t really judge Belgium when I’ve only see two cities and the highway between them, but other people have told me that Belgium is in fact not a very beautiful country, and from what I have seen I’ll have to agree; most of the buildings in Namur and Oostende were probably from the mid 1900s or later, they were kind of off-white/greyish and didn’t give their cities any charm or life at all. I could never ever imagine myself living in these places, and for example when I visited Bamberg I really thought to myself that this really is a place I could imagine living, it really was that beautiful and charming.

My short visit to Belgium has not at all made want to go back there, which might be a shame because there probably are (has to be!!?) some beautiful places that I could be missing out on.

Anyway, here are a couple of photos from Oostende, taken from the balcony of our room:

And here's a photo that I took while standing on the beach looking to England, seeing the ferry crossing and thinking I'd much rather be on that!

Motocross in Namur

On Sunday the 6th of August I spent the day at some kind of motocross thing in Namur Belgium. A world cup race or something I think it was, because apparently some guy from Belgium, Stefan Everts, did so well that he became world champion for the 10th time.

Because I always think that you should not judge things without having tried them at least ones I had decided to spend the day at the citadel watching this thing.

We had to get up at 7 in the morning (on a Sunday!!!), and a few minutes after 8 we had to make a half an hour steep climb up to the citadel from our hotel that was at the base of it. I’m as a person always angry and bitter in the morning if the world decides to wake me before my body tells me it’s time to wake up, so my mood wasn’t the best – but I do like to walk (if not necessarily upwards for half an hour at 8 in the morning) and there was a lovely view.

When I finally got to the entrance I found it cost 45 Euros to enter. What the fuck? FORTY-FIVE bloody EUROS, what is this, a Robbie Williams concert (which would probably have been worth the money!!)? But as I already was awake, had done the steep climb and had agreed to come along for this thing, I did, after a lot of loud complaining, come along.

After that the day was mainly spent witting on a rock watching very loud motorbikes going round and round, 8 hours I spent like this (well, there was lunch around 1130 with some kind of strange burger, and then dinner around 3 in the local cafeteria which actually made a really really nice steak dinner – and the beer was great of course!).

It was a bit exciting the very first time the really good competitors got to the big hill and jumped high in the air – afters having watched that about 1000 times…. Not so much fun anymore!

Oh well, I’ve been there – done that! I can now with certainty say that I’m not the slightest interested in motocross and will probably never go see another race in my life again, but now that I argue that this sort of things bores me half to death I can actually back that argument up by having seen the real thing!

Falling in love with Bamberg

When in Germany this year I finally had a chance to visit Bamberg, a very old world heritage city – and how beautiful and charming it was too! There are so many buildings, old churches and narrow alleys, I think I could’ve walked around there for days just exploring it – and sensing the place. Once again I found myself not seeing what is now but what might have been many hundred years ago. When I visited the Eremitage in Bayereuth and “visited” the past I “saw” the place through the eyes of the “mark gräfin” and got this feeling of solitude and loneliness, walking around her large gardens, among all the beauty, but alone.

In Bamberg the streets of the old days seemed crowded to me, lots of strange sounds and smells that was not there today but probably would have bee at some point. Poor people in poor clothing without shoes begging in the streets, monks – strict ones – from all the churches, and rich people in carriages or on horses fighting their ways through the crowded streets that would be buzzing with life. That is what I “saw”.

I did of course take some photos but once again found it completely impossible to capture the sense and feel of the place. You’ve just got to be there!

Notebook entry on 8th of August: Germany and the Germans

I’ve got some time to myself in the hotel room and can finally get some writing done. I feel I’m getting very edgy by having people around all the time, so some quiet time with me and my thoughts has been missed.

What I’ve really been wanting to write something about is the new found German pride in their nation. It really wasn’t further in the past than 4 or 5 years that I was discussing this topic with some German friends. They then told me that it would be unheard of for a German to show any kind of pride in his country or his nationality, using the flag to celebrate big events or using the German colours to cheer on their teams in sports or something like that. If they did they would be seen as very right-wing extreme nationalists.

I thought this was an awful thing. 55 years after WWII a new generation was growing up in Germany still feeling ashamed and blamed for what happened back then and not being allowed to be normally proud of who they were. After all, our nationality, our culture, our traditions and our history as a nation is a big part of who we are as humans, as individuals.

Norwegians have always been very proud of being just that, especially since the union with Sweden ended in 1905. Mostly it’s pretty innocent this national pride of Norway, it just makes us feel good when ever our different athletes in different sports do well in representing our country, or when ever some other Norwegian does something good that is noticed by the rest of the world. We’re proud of our mountains and fjords and the midnight sun and that so many foreigners want to come to our beautiful country to see it – and I don’t see any of this as an unhealthy unwanted too nationalistic pride in who we are and where we come from.

Up until recently the Germans I met didn’t dare to show any such pride in being Germans, in their country. This year things have changed though: now there are truly a lot of cars with German flags, lots of balconies with German fags and all in all I thought I could feel a change in the nation. It must’ve been the football world championship! I don’t care much for football, but if this is what was needed for the world to move on and leave the past, not forgotten, but in the past – then I’d say there’s something good in football too!

This really is a good thing I think, it’s a healthy sign that this large nation that Germany is, finally allows itself to step into the future and being proud of itself in the same way that other nations are. It really was about time!

Friday, August 11, 2006

I'm back

I am home at last. And this evening I’m awfully tired so I won’t write much, except saying that I really have enjoyed most of the vacation I’ve had – but it is SO incredibly good to be back home again knowing that I’ll be going to sleep in my own bed this evening.

Tomorrow I’ll be posting some of the things I’ve been writing in my notebook over the last few days….

Tuesday, August 08, 2006

Short report from Oostende in Belgium

So, I've been in Oostende Belgium since Sunday evening. Unfortunately there's no wireless internet access where I can hook up my laptop, there is however a computer that you can rent for 5 Euros pr 2 hours, but the keyboard here is driving me crazy because they've moved the "a" "m" "q" "w" and many of the other keys around so I get very frustrated when I try to write by using the touch method.

I'll keep writing on my laptop though, and publish it when I'm back in Norway on Friday evening, together with some more photos.

Saturday, August 05, 2006


I went on an excellent trip to Bamberg yesterday (Friday the 4th) and I will tell you about my impressions from this trip, but as it is getting late in the evening here in Namur and we're getting up in the morning at 7 to see some silly motocross race, world championship or something, I'd better get to bed now. I do hope that since we're leaving this hotel tomorrow and moving on to Oostende that I will find that our hotel there also has internet access and that I also will be able to publish during the week.

Anyway, I will be writing about Bamberg in the next days and publish it as soon as I can, for now I'll leave you with a couple of photos of the old "Rathause" that the Major for various reasons had to build in the middle of the river.

Notebook entry on the 5th of August 2006: Another dream

In the backseat of the car again, moving this time, 600 km from Untersteinach in Germany to Namur in Belgium.

I had a dream one night this week:
My aunt and I went on a trip to some French speaking country. We were going to stay with some friends, but when we got there they had no room for us. We had to sleep in the courtyard. At some point a man opened his window and started talking to us in French.
I did learn French in school, but that’s 15 years ago now and not having used it much I have forgotten most of it.
I could not understand what the man in my dream was saying, only a few words, and I kept repeating: “Je ne parle pas Français”.
In the days since this dream I have been wondering: did the man in the dream actually speak French? I remember I was quite good at French at some point and all I have learnt must be stored somewhere in my brain. So perhaps when I dream, my unconsciousness knows how to access this stored knowledge and I really am capable of dreaming in French – and not understanding it?

Notebook entry on 2nd of August: Bad day

Today I made one wrong decision and suddenly found myself in hell, again! Hell in this case being a place called Obi in the outskirts of Kulmbach. It is a builder’s market/super store which is a great place to be to buy cheap stuff if you’re building a house – I’m not! Every bloody year, at some point when my aunt and uncle decide to go to places like these, my brain suddenly malfunctions and I find myself in hell, again, lasting for hours at a time! I don’t think I’ve got enough fingers AND toes to count the hours of my life wasted in such places, hoping that a comet will strike and take me out of my misery!

This year I actually had a sudden burst of enlightenment when my uncle mentioned Obi, I said: “No bloody way I’m spending another minute in that place!” Then he said it would only be a very short stop to pick up some things for the bathroom and then he would drop my aunt and me off in Kulmbach centre for our kind of shopping. I let myself be persuaded….

It’s been one hour and thirty minutes now, and I’ve given up walking aimlessly between the shelves in this desert of “things for the house, the garden or whatever!” I’m in the backseat of the car, actually praying for that comet now, feeling that I’m loosing my will to live. Where’s Death when you really need him?

Notebook entry on 1st August 2006: A romantic dream

This night I had a very “real” and life-like dream about a girl of 16 – 17 years, she was probably a princess, who came from a foreign country to marry the Crown Prince of another country.
The Crown Prince’ name was Frederic, I don’t know the girl/princess’ name because in the dream I was her, most of the time – but I could still tell what Frederic and some of the other characters were thinking.
The Princess came to this large Royal palace and she was betrothed to the Crown Prince Frederic who was a bit older, perhaps around 25 years.
She didn’t want to marry Frederic because she had never met him and she thought she was in love with her childhood friend Carl, with whom she had grown up. Carl came from a poorer background and had no fortunes of his own. He was part of the party of people that the Princess brought with her to this foreign country. There was also a very young girl, perhaps 8 or 9 years old, who was the handmaid of the Princess.
After they arrived at the Royal Palace and the Princess with her friend and servants had been installed at a smaller guest palace, she and Carl made plans on how they were to escape, with some of the fortunes of the palace without the Princess having to marry the Crown Prince Frederic.
The days passed and the Princess spent most of her time with Carl, nothing improper happening between them, just hanging out like friends and talking about how life would be when they got away from it all.
Frederic, the Crown Prince, who really was not a bad man, got very frustrated by this. He wanted to learn to know the Princess and for her to know him, because he was sure that she would feel better about the marriage when she got to know him. He didn’t even want to set a date for the wedding before they had come to know each other and both agreed on the wedding.
The King saw the Crown Prince’ frustration on never getting the chance to be alone with his fiancée, and he made a plan. Early one morning he had his servants wake Carl up and tell him that His Majesty the King wanted him to come hunting with him that day since the King had heard that Carl loved hunting, which was true, and Carl couldn’t very well refuse the King. So before the Princess awoke, Carl rode out with the King and his hunting party.
This morning Frederic brought a picnic basket to the Princess’ small palace, and entered her room while she was still sleeping. He put the food and the wine on the table and he woke her by touching her cheek ever so gently and speaking softly to her. He said he thought it was about time they got to know each other and asked if she would have breakfast with him. She could not deny him this so he swept her up in her blankets and carried her to a large sofa beside the table by a fireplace with a bear skin on the floor.
That day they spent in each other’s company, talking, eating and drinking wine. Frederic was a very good listener and he found that he had much in common with the Princess as she was very intelligent and very well educated (her father had insisted that his only daughter should also be taught everything she wanted to). The Princess had never before met a man who was so much a man, would woo her like Frederic did, and listen to her like he did without interrupting her and who seemed kind and really interested in her well being. She thought about her relationship with Carl, how that felt safe and comfortable, but never exciting, and how they would argue like siblings over everything and how he would often interrupt her when she talked because that was how the relationship was between them.
During the day Frederic also told her that Carl was out hunting with the King and that the hunting party would be staying overnight at a far away hunting cabin. He also said that he didn’t go with them because he hated hunting and killing, which made the Princess like him even more because she didn’t like that either and had never appreciated Carl’s love for hunting.
In the afternoon Frederic felt the time was right and so he leaned over and kissed her, and the Princess immediately felt her knees go weak and her heart miss a beat. She had gradually fallen in love with Frederic that day without realizing it herself, and this, her very first real kiss made her completely sold. Frederic lifted her up and carried her to the bed where they made love and Frederic got the confirmation that she was, as he thought, still a virgin. It was of course really not proper and according to etiquette that they had sex before marriage, but Frederic felt that he had somehow to make her “his” before her friend returned from the hunting trip.
That night Frederic stayed with the Princess and they made love over and over again. In the middle of the night Frederic asked her if she would marry him and agree to have the wedding in 3 days. He said he wanted to be sure there was no scandal if their night together would lead to her becoming pregnant. She said yes.
The next morning while they were still in bed he had the servants carry in a big bathtub and fill it with warm water. They were still snuggling under the blankets; he was kind of keeping her sheltered from the servants because he knew she was never really comfortable with having them in her room which was also the reason why she would only keep one really young handmaid. He had ever intention to be honourable and just lie in the bed talking with her, while all the servants were going back and forth with water for the bathtub, but he wanted her so much and at some point he couldn’t control himself so he seduced her quietly under the blankets with the servants in the room (after all HE had never cared if the servants were around or not, he just did not notice them). As chance had it, while they made love, the hunting party returned and Carl ran directly to the Princess’ room as always. He found the door open because of the servants going back and forth. He entered the room, heard the sounds from the bed, saw the back of Frederic’s head and immediately understood what had happened. He fled from the scene, knowing that he had lost her.
Later that day Frederic asked the Princess to move up to the Royal Palace, to his room, because he didn’t want to be away from her anymore. She agreed, leaving her childhood friend Carl alone with some of the servants in the smaller guest Palace.

That was my dream and I am pretty sure I know where the inspiration came from; it must have been from yesterday’s visit to the “Eremitage” – all the processes started in my head. And a truly beautiful love story it was too, maybe I’ll write it some day – maybe it will even turn into that BIG love story novel that I have always wanted to write?

Notebook entry on 31st July 2006: Eremitage

I wonder if my German friends see me different than my Norwegian or English friends? The reason for this thought is that I find that because I don’t speak German as well as Norwegian and English I find that I am quieter in the company of German friends than other because I have to put more thought into what I’m going to say to find the right words.

When with Norwegian and English friends, well, they know I don’t always put a lot of thought into the words that come out of my mouth. There are always a lot of words inside me searching for a way out, even when they’re words that doesn’t necessarily need saying.

Of course, when it comes to things I really feel like telling my German friends and I can’t find the words, I’ll just switch to English and hope they understand and most times they do. So if I wanted to I could speak English all the time here. But that would be to choose the easy way out, and I wouldn’t really learn anything from that. So I keep insisting on trying to speak German with the result that I’m quieter than usual, which might not be such a bad thing after all…..

Today we visited a place called “Eremitage” in Bayereuth. It’s like a really large garden/park with a small old palace in the middle. This large garden was started by a counted, a “mark gräfin”, around 1700 I think it was, and there are several smaller buildings and ponds there, lots of statues, small cave like structures and fountains, trees, bushes, flowers and paths. I really enjoyed walking around there, for one reason it is very quiet and beautiful, but mostly I like to walk in such places because it is old history.

When walking around there I try not to see things and people of today, I try to imagine being a “mark gräfin” from the 1700s walking around in this large rather private park. How would she see it? Did she enjoy it when she’d had it built? Was she happy there? What were her thoughts around some of the things she had built there?

I “saw” people all around me today, not of our time, but several hundred years back. How they would have their parties and celebrations in such a grand place. It truly was a place for inspiration. I took some photos, but when I watched them later they didn’t really do the place justice, because you can’t catch the “feel” of the place in a photo. The Eremitage was full of life everywhere, the photos are not. But I’ll cherish the memories of it in my heart, and when I ever am in need to write about such a place, this will be my inspiration.

And lots of thanks to Jana and Lone for taking me there.

I'm in heaven...

Oh, well, not really. But after 6 days of "internet isolation" in Untersteinach, I'm finally online again. We're spending one night in Namur Belgium, at a very nice hotel by the river called Beauregard. The internet access was incredibly expensive (15 Euro for 24 hours) but somehow I feel it's worth it - after all, this is vacation, and you should spoil yourself then right?

My short week in Untersteinach has been really great, and I haven't really missed internet that much because so much other things have been going on. And I have been able to check my emails every day using my mobile (which will cost me a fortune, once again, feel it's worth it!) so I haven't been totally isolated.

I've been writing a lot in my notebook, and also written it in Word on my computer so that it would be ready to publish as soon as I got online again.